Sick of Deferred Hope

I don’t want to hope anymore. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of being sick. I’m sick of its cold indifference. I’ve come to believe that it’s got to be easier to long for nothing than to hang on to this dead tree.

I don’t want to anticipate the next email, I don’t want to wait for the phone call.I don’t want to consider the results of one last moment of patience.I don’t want to envision the joys of the final answer.

I’m done.I don’t want to hold on for………….

I want something else. I want something different. I want something more than these dying breaths. I need something more than this unfulfilled emptiness.

I’m sick… I’m sick of the cycling roller-coaster… I’m sick of deferred hope.

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