Forbidden

It bothers me.
It bothers me that it bothers me.
It bothers me that the expectation is that it shouldn’t bother me… That I should be unfazed… That bothers me.

I’m bothered.
I’m bothered that I’m bothered.
I’m bothered that I want to talk about it, but I can’t.
I want to say something, but I shouldn’t.
I want to cry! Shout! Scream! But I mustn’t… That bothers me.

I’m upset that I’m upset. Sad that I’m sad. Broken that I’m broken. Grieved that I’ve lost… the freedom to fall apart… the liberty to escape… even right to be bothered… That bothers me.

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