Winter With a Twist of Lime

Dear Florida, 

Please don’t listen to the haters. Like many boot-loving, leather jacket owning, infinity scarf hoarding fashionistas, I have been waiting in anticipation for your reluctant and temporary acceptance of Mr. Winter’s invitation. Naturally, at the announcement of a blissful 54° Sunday, I excitedly searched my closet for the perfect outfit to express my delight! And what a better way to say, “I love you and I love this weather” than to welcome Winter with a twist of Lime. 

People Watching: random thoughts

Some completely random observations.

1. I’ve been thinking about getting a dog. So of course, as a responsible person, I consult my friends who have dogs. Nine out of ten times I was told, “don’t do it”; “it’s so much work”; “there’ll be hair/fur everywhere”; “it takes so much planning just to go away”; etc, etc, etc. Hmmm. So why exactly do these people still have dogs?

2. If you’re going to fake tan because, let’s face it, you envy the mochaliciousness of  brown skin, at least be wise about it. I mean, seriously. No one has been sprawled half-naked on a Florida beach in four months unless they’re visiting from Michigan and consider our 40 degree weather a heat wave. So please, put those cinnamon-colored legs away. Nobody’s buying that’s your natural pigment.

3. Speaking of putting legs away, I will grant you that it is not cold enough to wear boots – unless they just arrived from NJ with your mom and you must wear them (fashionably) be she and  Mr. Winter  leave. However, it is definitely not warm enough to bring out the signature PFPC (you know what I’m talking about) shorts and expose your seasonally inappropriately colored legs.

My formal apology to Mr. Winter

For a fashionista living in south Florida, a cold winter day in the sunshine state is more than just a weather anomaly. These precious moments of our faux winter are far more than freak effects possibly caused by global warming! They are wonderful gifts from God to be taken advantaged of to the fullest. Why? Because, just a few days of bristly northeastern weather will justify a season of purchases.

I have had – though with wisdom and restraint – such a gloriously justifiable season. Luxurious coats, beautiful scarves, sleek high-heeled knee length boots in leather and suede – Oh My! Yes, indeed I have reveled in the opportunities to be defiantly New York(ish) in the good ole’ south; gallivanting about in the latest chic winter accessories.

However, I must now confess that revelry has not come without a few lessons.

I had forgotten how much more effort it takes to look fashionable while freezing your bum off! On one particular morning, I decided to be wonderfully sexy in all black, tall boots, and a long knitted sweater. But, when I stepped outside, Old Man Winter knocked me squarely in the chest and asked, “Where the hell d’you think you’re going?” I literally ran back in the house yelling, “Where’s my super-suit?” – A knee length coat in an undeniably gorgeous color with pleats and curves in all the right places. Of course, Mr. Winter and I made our peace once I took a glance in the mirror and saw how fabulous I looked in my coat, but his admonishments have not stopped there. There was the morning that my high-tech phone couldn’t sense my fingers through my gloves. And then the moment I realized a growing resentment for the parts in my funky-patterned stockings that were less cold resistant. Let’s not forget that I’ve had to sleep in my bathrobe because I don’t own flannel PJs. But what took the cake was the fact that I had to turn on my heater last night! Uh-uh! Hold on, Grandpa. Step away from the fuzzy slippers. This is definitely not what I signed up for. I now live in FLORIDA. Where 50 degree weather sends me running to the beach with a blanket and hot chocolate because I can actually enjoy it without burning my skin! What’s with this heater business?

Ok, so I am confessing today that I have been humbled. I realize that for the past three years, I’ve been treating winter with as much thought as last season’s scarf. In fact, I would say that most of us fashionistas living in this southern paradise, haven’t shown the old man much respect at all. And on behalf of us all, I would like to formally apologize. Now please, send back your faux cousin, “cool weather”, so that I can wear my boots and my mini skirt too.