Poison and Wine and Whatever Moves You

So, I joined a writing group. Why? Because that itch, that need to be creative, that gnawing sensation of what I’ve not yet done, of where I’ve not yet gone, of who I’ve not yet been was clawing its way out of my skin and I was left with no other choice. So, I joined a writing group to help me help me.

I sat, giving eager attention, as the women seated around the small table took turns sharing their writings. A devotional. An inspirational blog. A self-help book. A memoir. Words written to help others. Beautiful stories created to inspire.

… Hmmm…

… Thinking and processing…

… I have “nothing” to share…

… Three days later… still thinking… and processing… and “nothing” to share

Enter The Civil Wars‘ Poison and Wine on my Spotify with the moment of truth.

I just want to write love stories. Fantastical, romantic fiction about the human condition in and out of relationships. I want to write about hearts meeting and breaking and mending. About longingly waiting and painfully letting go. About expectant butterflies and unceasing tears. Even if that doesn’t seem very… inspiring, it is what’s moving me.

Here’s a list (in no particular order) of what else is moving me:
Lisa Hannigan “I Don’t Know
P
aramore “Still Into You”
Rictor “Till the End”
The Civil Wars “Dust to Dust” and “To Whom it may Concern” and “Falling”

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The healing in the melodies

I’ve always loved music. I’ve always had a fascination… An, at times, unhealthy, obsession… A deep admiration… And, in some dark places, a strong aversion.

Some music makes me want to dance and sing at the top of my lungs; some make me angry and want to break something, anything. Some make me want to clean; some help me focus on a current task; while others completely drive me to fantastic distractions. Some bring me to my knees in utter ruin, and others still, wash over me like a soothing balm.

How it speaks to me, I can’t quite explain. Sometimes it helps me create, a delicious concoction or a hand-made present. Sometimes it inspires me to write, long flowy letters to old friends, pent-up emotions I couldn’t express, or dreamy short stories I’ve yet to live. But right now, it’s just helping me stay in my own skin… and that’s all I can ask.

What’s moving me lately? Audrey Assad “New Song”:

  • There’s an aching in my body, within my lungs. This web of bones around my heart is coming undone. And I need a new song. I need a new song. I’m waiting in the night for you. Burning in the sky for you… Words are failing, my melodies falter, my voice is breaking, my heart is burning…

Other music  on my current soundtrack: Feist “The Reminder”;  Sovereign Grace Music “The Gathering”, especially “Shine into our night” and “Show us Christ”; Mumford & Sons “Roll Away your Stone”; Adele “19”; Rodrigo Y Gabriela “Area 52”, JOC “Who we are Instead”….